Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
