We won't sleep together?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
