He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
