dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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