A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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