yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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