This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
