I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize