I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
