How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
