i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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