ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
