You're completely useless in the revolution.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if only i could text you this smell
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
