I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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