My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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