butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize