I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
