So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
