so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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