I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
