i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
