Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
