it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
