We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
