i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
