Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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