what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
