What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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