was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
