Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
