Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
