i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
