i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
