can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
