I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
