just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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