i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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