I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
