I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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