Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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