Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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