Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
