Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think my vagina is haunted
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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