Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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