So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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