i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
