Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
