he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
