Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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