You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
