Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize