I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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