she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
