Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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