can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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