I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize