In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
