i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
