I like my sex mixed with concussions.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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