This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
