im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
