Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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