I think I died a long time ago.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize